Here We Go Again
by BellaBaby2813
Summary: 12 Songs, 12 Chapters about our favorite MI characters. Small Drabbles throughout the entire series and after Warning, Spoliers for City of Ashes and City of Glass : T for language :
1. Welcome to My Life

**Disclaimer: Don't Own the Mortal Instruments (Although owning Jace could be wicked fun….)**

_A/N: So I decided to do one of those 12 songs, 12 chapters things. It's basically just a bunch of drabbles about our favorite MI characters based of the random songs my iPod can come up with…Here we go___

_**Welcome to My Life –Simple Plan**_

**Alec POV**

I kicked a pebble across the street outside of Taki's. Jace had asked me to come and get food. Again. Because he was too busy with Clary. Again. And I agreed. Again. "Have you no backbone, Alec?" I muttered angrily, stepping inside Taki's.

I placed the order and went to take a seat, frowning heavily. Things seemed wrong. Normally Jace and I would have came together. Would have sat right there, right here, in this booth. Would have laughed about the battle that went on last night and complained about lost daggers and torn gear.

But instead I was only, playing with the most recent hole to my favorite sweater, complaining to myself. Laughing about nothing and frowning at everything. Silent, unhappy, wrong.

Ever since Clary came around life has spun out of order. Before my life had order and that's how I liked it. Nothing was ever quite complicated. I fought demons, slept, and ate. Easy. Sure…I loved Jace but he didn't know. Only Isabelle did but she was harmless. Well as harmless as a girl with a whip can be.

I never would have Jace but Jace wasn't going to have anyone so that was ok. If he wasn't mine, he wasn't anyone's.

Then that annoying, short little red-headed girl came around and TADA. Catastrophe. She almost gets Jace killed various time, almost gets me killed various times, changes Jace and takes him away from us all. After she came around Jace was always with her or in his room. Thinking, bothered, worried.

It was like I had disappeared completely. Which sucks royally.

And then…we were told they were siblings and I thought everything would be fixed! Jace couldn't be with Clary and Clary couldn't have him. They would be like Isabelle and me. Loving each other in a sibling-like manor, annoying each other to death but saving them from the ones who wanted to put each other under a grave stone like Izzy and I did.

But I was wrong. Oh boy was I wrong.

Jace just disappeared even more, was crankier, upset, ruder than usual. Even to me. His brother in war. Never was Jace that mean to me.

I scowled. Such a whiner I am! I scolded myself mentally. This is just wrong. And I could only think of one source. Clary.

The girl who was probably sweating over Jace at the institute right now. An image flashed in my head and I was quick to shake it. No, no, no. Not like that. Training. With blades and full body gear on.

Images of Clary smiling shyly to me this morning as she ran hurriedly to her practice which she was late for in shorts and a tank top flashed. Okay, maybe not full gear. But whatever. Clothes. She had clothes on.

And now she wasn't Jace's sister. The only shared blood was the blood of an Angel between them. And now they were always together, always touching. Hands clasped, silent lips locked, Jace mindlessly rubbing circles in her back after practice as she sat slumped over a textbook, biting her lip unconsciously.

I growled, shaking my head harder. Stop this Alec. It's got to be one of the highest forms of torture, especially to do it to yourself. I hurried and grabbed the order, nodding to the waitress that at one point in time Jace held some interest in.

Now all he saw was Clary.

I let the door clip my hurt shoulder, the one I had hurt in a battle the night before, not even letting myself wince. The hot sensation of pain shook me back into reality. Once I reached the Institute, Church lead me to Jace.

Of course he was in the training room. And of course his little fiery headed warrior was in there, panting, gripping a practice blade. And of course Jace had an arm wrapped around her waist, whispering in her ear. Neither of them noticed me.

Jealousy and pitiful anger raised high in my throat and I cleared, getting their attention. The both looked up at the same time. Clary blushed and Jace just smiled. "Ah. Food. Thanks Alec. You can leave it on the table. Clary and I will grab it in a sec." he said, obviously hitting at me leaving again. I grinded my teeth, turning my back on them so I could put the bag on the table. Behind me I could hear the low whispers of Jace saying something to Clary, the smile evident in his voice. She giggled.

"Thanks Alec." She said, still giggling and panting. I grunted, nodding as I left, stomping angrily away. "Alec!" Clary called and I almost didn't turn around. She was chasing after me, brushing the plastered hair off her face. "Yeah?" I asked her. "Magnus called. He wants you to call him back…You left your phone by accident in the training room." She said, giving me a shaky smile. I tried to smile back as she handed me the phone but it barely even curled my lips.

"Thanks." I said, retreating to go call Magnus. At least _someone_ loved me.


	2. Alone in This Bed

Disclaimer: I don't own Framing Hanley or Mortal Instruments.

Alone in This Bed- Framing Hanley (A/N: Personally, I think this song is amazing and fits PERFECTLY with the whole twisted relationship between Jace and Clary. Placed somewhere in City Of Ashes)

(I also have found it much easier to write in third person soooo….I will be writing the rest of the chapters in third person )

Jace sighed heavily, punching the wall in frustration. The wall dented and he frowned, the annoyance only adding fuel to his very angry fire. He hated Valentine. Yes, he was technically his father but what father makes his own child believe he's dead? And not even tell him that the person he supposedly was was dead and he was some evil maniac?

Okay, well maybe the last part is slightly understandable. Valentine probably doesn't think he's neither evil nor a maniac. But he is defiantly both. And quite a few other things unmentionable.

But he didn't hate Valentine for lying to him about who he was or even his death. No, he was mad, no, he was furious, the new dent in the wall proving that was because that he lied about him having a sister. A sister that he undeniably loved and not in the correct and proper way.

The pure mention of Clary, even if it was only a thought and not even her name, sent a painful squeeze to his heart. Not just like a little tug he use to get when someone mentioned his father before he found out he was still breathing, but a more like a pair of blindingly white hot tongs were yanking hard on his heart. Being in love with Clary was like dying slowly and painfully. But he took every opportunity to be with her, taking every second he could to touch her, even if it meant just the smallest graze of his fingertips to get that electric jolt that went down his fingers straight to his heart.

He was like a crack addict, wanting only more and more with every little taste of her. And the obsession, the addiction, the cravings, only got worse with the more her got.

His heart ached, wanting to see her, needed to hold her, dying to kiss her. Jace flopped onto his pale bed, closing his eyes, letting his imagination take over him. He felt weak, incredibly weak. A feeling he didn't like whatsoever and hadn't felt until he had met Clary.

He gave a dry laugh. Jace could stand confidently and unafraid in front of a hoard of ravenous demons but when it came to the short, hardly dangerous, little red headed girl he almost fell to his knees. Not because he was afraid of her but because he was afraid of what she made him feel.

Jace felt that God had a sick sense of humor if there was a God somewhere up there. He finally allowed him to love, to be ready to give himself completely to someone else and Jace was completely ready to do that, despite the dagger Clary would forever hold over his heart. And then God decided to be funny and make them related, siblings even.

"Yeah, I'm laughing real hard big guy." Jace muttered, snatching a dagger on his nightstand, twisting it over and over again, the city lights reflected off of it. It was the dagger he'd given to Clary when they went to Magnus's party, the one she had stuck into Luke's right hand man at the Dumort Hotel saving Simon.

He sighed again his anger still bubbling in his chest. She was probably with Simon right now. The little mundane boy had finally professed his undying love for Clary and Clary didn't respond with loving him back, but she did give him a chance. A chance Jace was dying to have himself.

It did please Jace though when Simon broke up with Clary, although it made him hate the mundane even more. He was just lucky he didn't hurt Clary.

His phone buzzed on his nightstand, the knife almost slipping from his hands, a thin cut oozing blood from his palm. Jace cursed, placing the knife down on his nightstand and grabbed the phone. Placing his palm to his mouth he attempted to stop the blood with the pressure of his mouth.

It was a text from Clary. He flipped it open, reading it quickly. Hey Jace, cumn 2 the Institute 2mrw. Need to talk 2 u.

He sighed heavily not knowing if that talk would be pleasant or not. Or how it would end. Most of their conversations seemed to end with Jace angry and wanting to hit something and Clary irked, almost on the verge of tears. He begged for a different ending.

Ill b here. He sent her back, watching the bars as it told him the progress of the message being sent. With the promise of Clary coming where else would he go?

He growled, feeling weak again. She had him on a tight rope, he would do anything for her and that's what scared him. He was now at the will of someone else.

He watched the phone though, waiting impatiently for her response.

She made a sideways smiley face, something she had to explain to Jace and he felt incredibly stupid afterwards, and told her goodnight, dots after it, leaving it feeling undone. Jace said goodnight, knowing perfectly well he wouldn't be going to bed anytime soon.

The silent, unsaid, not-even-supposed-to-be-thought I love you hung heavy around Jace. It was wrong, but he wanted her. He set the phone back down, lying on top of covers, wishing he wasn't alone in that bed.

A/N: Wee…. Ok so I tried really hard to capture this song's longing feeling and depression that I think Jace feels towards Clary. I'm not quite sure if it worked but I tried!! Lol and I thought I did pretty good…. :)


	3. Decoy

Disclaimer: I don't own Paramore or Mortal Instruments

A/N: After City of Glass 

Decoy- Paramore (This song is AWESOME for Isabelle)

Isabelle stared at the fey who was staring at his menu. His wings fluttered and Isabelle sighed softly. This was their second date and she was already bored. She had lost count of how many guys she'd been with, not to mention how it took to get bored. And she got bored easily.

"Andrew?" Isabelle asked in sugary sweet voice. Andrew looked up at her, watching her with adoring expression. Isabelle put on her best innocent smile, ready to break the fey's heart. The chiming of bells made Isabella freeze looking up at the doors, seeing three familiar faces, one making her heart jump.

Jace was walking in with Clary, his arm wrapped securely around her. She had a pleased smile on her face, staring up at Isabelle's adopted brother. He hadn't let go of that girl since after the second Uprising. It was almost sickening.

But that wasn't the reason why Isabelle's heart had reacted so oddly. It was because the dark haired boy staring at Jace in pure jealousy that neither of the space cadets noticed. He wore a slightly ragged gray shirt that had a pair of fangs on it saying Bite Me. Isabelle chuckled inwardly at the irony of his tee-shirt. His jeans were slightly frayed and muddy but Isabelle didn't really mind. She was a shadow hunter after all.

Ever since she met Simon he held a special place in her heart that nagged at her and she couldn't get rid of, not even with her many distractions.

Clary waved shyly at Isabelle and Jace nodded, leading Clary to a booth. "Isabelle?" Andrew asked her, noticing her distraction. "Oh sorry. Friends of mine." She said, flashing him one of her best smile. She saw Simon was staring in her direction.

Isabelle placed a hand over Andrew's, her foot teasing his leg. "I'm having a lot of fun." She lied, fluttering her eyelashes. Andrew grinned taking her hand in his. _Yes,_ she thought, _play into my game of jealousy. Come play decoy. _

"I'm glad because though you don't bare wings, I really like you." Andrew said, winking at her. Isabelle let out a loud, obnoxious very girly laugh, much of the restaurants occupants turning in their direction. "I really, _really_ like you too." She giggled. From the corner of her eye she that jealous look come back into Simon's eyes, only now it was directed to _her_.

And Isabelle liked that.

"I'm not really in the mood for dessert anymore." She said. "At least, nothing this place offers." Isabelle said coyly. Andrew rose an eyebrow at her and he began leading her out of the booth. "Well why don't I go help you with that issue?" Andrew said. Isabelle wanted to gag, but instead she gave him a sexy smile. "Sounds perfect." And she leaned in, glad for once she was so tall, and kissed him full on the lips, making sure Simon had a good view. When she pulled away Andrew looked shocked. "Ready?" She asked innocently. He nodded, pulling her out of the restaurant. Once they were out on the smoggy New York streets she turned to him, wrapping her coat around her.

"Actually Andrew, plans have changed. I'm not so hungry anymore. I'm sorry." She said, dropping the cheery act. Andrew stuttered, staring at her. "Well—." He began but Isabelle silenced him with her finger.

"Don't worry. That date wasn't very memorable for me either. See you around Andrew." Isabelle said, walking away towards the Institute. She only felt a smidge bad for using Andrew to bait Simon but hey, the world's a rough game to play. Especially when Isabelle held the dice.


	4. All Around Me

Disclaimer: I no own Flyleaf nor MI. Sadly.

A/N: This is somewhere after City of Glass

All Around Me- Flyleaf

Clary kept her eyes closed, wanting to savor that last precious seconds of sleep, and stretched her arms out. The crack-crack of her bones felt good and she smiled. Gently, her hand touched soft fabric, warm, familiar hands, taking it. _Jace_, she thought, her heart picking up a step.

Her eyes fluttered open, sunlight pouring into the room, blinding her momentarily. "Good morning." Jace whispered a soft, gentle smile played across his lips. Clary smiled, sitting up, groaning at stiff muscles from her training.

"Hi." She mumbled sleepily, rubbing her eyes. Jace let go of her hand, switching his position to sit beside her against his headboard. She had come into his room last night, wanting to show him the new rune she had drawn and fell asleep waiting for him while he took a shower, sketchpad clutched in her hands.

Jace had just chuckled, lifted her up and tucked her in, knowing really he should have taken her to her room which was just next door but he too was tired and just too lazy. It's not like Maryse would mind much.

Jace had awoken before Clary had though and he sat and watched her sleep, gently brushing her hair out of her face when it slipped frequently and watched her murmur incoherent things as she slept. Only twice did he catch something and that was his name.

"How'd you sleep?" He asked, taking her hand again, playing with her fingers. Like he, she had long, thin fingers made to stroke piano keys. Or stoke a paintbrush against a blank canvas in her case. "Good…Did I fall asleep in your room?" She asked, looking at the blank walls. It couldn't possibly be her room because her room was painted in a bright lime green and had photos and sketches all around it.

The only thing that hung on Jace's white walls was one very small photo and that was of Jace and Clary at a carnival Clary had dragged him, Isabelle, Alec, Simon and Maia too. Magnus came by default. Isabelle of course had brought a camera, clicking pictures the entire time. She had gotten one of Jace and Clary sharing a sweet cotton candy kiss and Jace had demanded a copy.

Jace chuckled. "Yes. I found you clutching for dear life to your sketch pad. You fell asleep waiting for me to get out of the shower." _Again._ He thought, thinking back to the horrible memory when he thought she was his sister and she had told him she was disgusted by his affection.

Clary sighed contently, leaning her head against his shoulder. He bent down to kiss her hair, an electric current streaming through her body. Clary, even after a year of knowing Jace, of loving Jace, lost her breath around him. The air became too thick to breathe half the time. It was like Jace had completely surrounded her by his presence. Everywhere she looked, he was all around her.

"I came to show you a rune…" She said, glancing at the discarded sketch pad on the chair. "I saw. We'll have to test it later." He said, completely contented with being alone with her, absorbed in the moment. Before, Jace had thought he was living great. Now, he knew that during that time, it was like he was dead. Now, now that he had Clary and everything was right, he knew he was alive for the first time.

"Jace!" Isabelle cried, pounding on the door."What do you want?" He shouted, annoyed for his adopted sister's disturbance. Clary stared wide-eyed at the door, wondering if she would get in trouble for sleeping in her. Probably not and Isabelle would more than likely only make kissy faces at them for a few days.

"Do you know where my cell phone is?" She asked through the door, not bothering to open the door. "No. Go ask Church. He's got like a built in GPS system. He knows where everything and everyone is at!" Jace said and Clary buried her face in Jace's chest to smother her giggle.

Outside the door Isabelle laughed, walking away. She had heard a quiet, female laugh behind the door and she assumed Clary had slept in Jace's room. For a fleeting second she wondered what had exactly happened but then she remembered she saw Clary was walking almost already asleep through the halls, accidently running into a wall, holding her drawing pad.

Whatever she drew must have been important that she felt the need to walk like the dead to show Jace.

Back in Jace's room, Clary was listening Jace's steady heartbeats, not bored just relaxing. Her eyes were gently sliding shut, the rhythmic motion was like a lullaby. "I love you." Jace murmured, pressing his face into her hair. Clary smiled into his chest, gently applying pressure with her lips. "I know."

A/N: Weeee total fluffiness going on right there. I also added the whole "I love you." "I know." Thing Simon wanted to happen with him between him and Clary in City Of Bones because that's what happened in Star Wars and he's a total dork (much like me who also adores those movies) R&R people!! Please!


	5. Cool Rider

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grease 2(besides me DVD, sitting cozily in its case) nor MI**

_Cool Rider-__Michelle Pfeiffer _

_A/N: I laughed so hard when this song came up (Yes, I do, in fact, have Grease songs on my iPod and proud of that matter) so enjoy. Btw, it another Izzy song._

"It's just not going to work." Isabelle said, patting Lucas's shoulder. He was a sweet little werewolf Maia had introduced to her but he was too sweet for Isabelle's tastes. Lucas's face was shocked and hurt and Isabelle felt a tinge of guilt. "You're just not the right guy for me." She said giving him an "I'm sorry for breaking you heart" kind of smile.

"Well…what do you want?" He asked slowly. Isabelle bit her lip, wanting really just to leave but this guy was making her feel worse by the second and she felt she owed it to him, it some weird twisted kind of way.

"To tell you the truth…I want someone like…." She glanced onto the street, her eye catching a boy, actually a warlock to be specific, climbing off the back of a motorcycle. He wore a leather jacket, black and silver wings coming out of the back. He had jet black hair that was gelled and he was staring at something on a piece of paper.

"Someone like him." She said, pointing across the street. Lucas's face dropped and he sighed heavily. "Oh. You want a bad boy." He said lowly. "Yeah. A bad boy." Isabelle said, watching the boy. He put the paper in his pocket and walked into a store.

"And what if you can't find a bad boy? What if Mr. Leather isn't available?" Lucas asked, trying to puff out his chest a little bit more. Isabelle narrowed her eyes. What guy out there wasn't available to _her? _If there was one she hadn't met him yet.

But she answered honestly, a colder tone to her voice. "Then I'll wait forever. Because no ordinary boy is going to do." She said, crossing her arms. Her wrist felt odd, her usual golden whip was wrapped around it. She normally snapped at things when she was bored but she had left it at home, only carrying a Seraph blade and a few other small daggers just in case.

"I guess I'm an ordinary boy?" Lucas said. Of course he wasn't. The kid grew fangs and fur once a month. But in Isabelle's standards, yes, yes in fact he was ordinary. Ordinary brown hair, ordinary brown eyes, ordinary clothes, nothing popped about Lucas. Only his smile which was sweet and simple.

And Isabelle wasn't looking for the boy next door. She wanted a guy with hell in his eyes.

"So that's it?" Lucas asked, going to open the door to the old police station/Chinese restaurant. "Sorry."Isabelle said, examining her nails. Lucas was silent for a moment before going inside, slamming the door shut.

Isabelle sighed, heavily before placing a brilliant smile on her face and going across the street towards the store the warlock had gone in. She was going after her Mr. Leather.

_A/N: Lol so that was fun to write! Sorry it's so short….kind of hard to write a fanfic on a short song that's from the eighties!! Ha-ha I did, however, try to quote it a few times. It would have been oh-so-cheesy to say Cool Rider in there so I made up for it. R&R please!!_


	6. I'm Only Me When I'm With You

**Disclaimer: I don't own Taylor Swift or MI**

_A/N: Wee….so adding some country to this mix. So much fun. I'm half way through this thing, only 6 more chapters after this…Don't know if I'm sad or not lol It's almost 6 in the morning and yet…I can't sleep. But I do however have major needs for some writing, so I'm getting my fix by writing this fanfic ____ Bet y'all are happy for my insomnia!! Haha Here you go _

_Oh! Btw, this story is a few years after City of Glass and Clary and Jace are visiting Alicante with Jocelyn and Luke._

_I'm Only Me When I'm With You-Taylor Swift_

The soft sounds of crickets and other nightly creatures created the symphony for Clary and Jace as they lay almost motionlessly in the backyard of Amatis's backyard. Luke, Jocelyn and Amatis were inside, enjoying each other's company while Jace and Clary stared at the stars that they couldn't see in New York.

"That looks like Simon when he drank the potion at Magnus's party a few years ago." Jace said, pointing to a cluster of stars. Clary looked over at the spot he was pointing to and snorted. "You're on crack." She said, gazing at the other stars, getting her position back. She was using Jace's other arm as a pillow. A very hard, warm pillow.

"Am not." Jace said, sounding mockingly hurt. She laughed, nodding her head. "That's Orion moron." Clary said. Jace frowned staring at it harder. "Still looks like rat Simon." He muttered.

It had been three wonderful, glorious years since they had found out the news, that they weren't siblings whatsoever. Since then, Jace had trained Clary to become one of the best shadow hunters out there. They worked as a pair, as one unbeatable person, when they fought. They knew each other like they knew the back of their hand.

Jace had only ever opened up to one person and that person was laying on his arm, one eye closed, her mouth slightly ajar, trying to trace some star constellation in the sky with her fingers. He was only himself around her and it scared him sometimes, the things she brought out of him. But he loved her more than he loved anything else in the world and dealt with the fear like he dealt with that demon two weeks ago. Squished.

Jace bent his face down to kiss Clary's fiery red hair, enjoying how her mouth formed a large smile. Sure she drove him crazy half the time but he couldn't picture a world without her. It was like picturing a world without coffee. A very scary world indeed.

"Oh! Look! It's Saturn!" Clary said excitedly, pointing her finger excitedly in the sky. Jace only saw a star that shined a little bit brighter and was slightly bigger but he didn't say anything. He just chuckled, squeezing her tighter while she was to see its rings.

"Clary?" He said, catching her attention for a brief second. "Yeah?" She asked, looking up at him. He could see into those emerald pools that never seemed to end. It was like staring into space, as they were doing now, it had no stopping point.

"I love you." He said, getting her to smile and slightly flush. She reached her head up to kiss him full on the lips but pulled away quickly, leaving Jace unsatisfied. "I love you too." She whispered, a comet flying through the sky catching her eye.

"Oh my god! Look!" She cried, her attention completely diverted. Jace sighed, softly chuckling to himself. "Oh look a chicken." He mumbled, glad she didn't hear him. That would have resulted in some very bad results. Probably a smack on the head which would result in a headache or she would hit his chest, bruising him again. Or he'd end up sleeping on the floor last time he insulted her.

A sudden idea struck him. Oh yes, it'd be insulting by far, but she may laugh. Maybe. Slight chance. A risk worth taking. He was going to find her a shirt with that saying on it. Some mundane must have made it by now. It was a mundane expression.

"Why are you smiling so vicious?" Clary asked, rolling herself over so she was now lying on his chest. "I always smile vicious. It scares people." Jace said grinning. Clary chuckled, resting her head against his shoulder.

"I'm tired." She said, yawning into his shirt. "So I went from boyfriend, to pillow, to bed within an hour? How demeaning." Jace said, but gave her a smile so she wouldn't take him too seriously. She slapped his arm half-heartedly.

"Hey. Easy tiger. Bed privileges only come from no abuse." Jace teased. Clary looked up to glare at him, making him think of a kitten trying to be vicious. Of course Jace had seen Clary kill more demons than she weighed in a matter of minutes with a simple rune. "Do you want a place to sleep tonight that isn't walked on?" She asked him in a low, serious voice. "No ma'am." Jace replied and she put her head back done.

"Alrighty then. Shut that cocky mouth of yours." Clary responded, her voice muffled. Jace chuckled, pushing back many of her sarcastic comments. He raised a hand to her hair, gentle brushing it down her back. Her breathing slowed and he knew she was falling asleep. He let her, knowing he could carry her inside later.

"I love you Clarissa Fray. You're the only one for me." He said, feeling just the slightest bit cheesy before kissing her hair again, returning his gaze to the stars.

_A/N: YAY! More Clary and Jace fluff. Lol Hoped you all liked it. That song was a pain to write for, surprisingly enough. R&R please!!_


	7. You Drive Me Crazy

**Disclaimer: I don't own Brittany Spears nor MI**

_A/N: My iPod has a sense of humor. This song came on and flash backs of me bouncing around in pigtails and a Barbie pink room invaded my brain. (I was one of the many Brittany obsessed little girls way back when) yet when I listened to the lyrics…it works really well with Clary!! Haha who would have thought?!_

_You Drive Me Crazy-Brittany Spears (told you it had a sense of humor)_

Clary had a hard time denying the fact that her heart was trying to leap out of her chest. If the world couldn't see it, well then everyone must be oblivious. The crazy thing was…the only reason why was because Jace had simply given her an intense, three-second look.

That's all it took.

And it drove her absolutely crazy. Because he acted like he didn't care. And then he was kissing her. And then he was back to the hell with caring. He spun her in circles and Clary was getting dizzy. He had more mood swings than a pregnant woman.

It was hard to ignore Jace, no matter how hard she tried. He was just like that, flashy like Las Vegas. He called you in with the promise of pure joy and bliss and you ended up walking away disappointed and angry.

Clary had lost too many nights of sleep, the few that had actually passed had been spent tossing and turning, thoughts of the golden boy churning through her mind, buzzing around like a hoard of very angry trapped bees.

All she wanted was for her to be direct, brutally honest on he felt like he was with everything else. She wanted to know if she needed to pull out now before she got too deep. _Silly Clary._ He conscious told her._ You are already way too deep. Can't you see? _

Clary sighed heavily, not wanting to hear the truth. She pressed the pencil to the pad of paper, beginning to sketch something , anything to get her mind off of Jace. She sketched without really thinking, the image before her a blur until she finished.

With an angry grind of her teeth, she realized she had drawn Jace. Again. She threw the pad across the room, it bouncing into the hall. She put her face into her pillow, screaming. She was going insane. A soft touch to her back made her stop, the electric currents running through her back signaling immediately who it was.

"May I ask why the hell your screaming like a banshee and your notepad with a very flattering picture of me was in the hall?" Jace asked, the smirk apparent in his voice. It made Clary want to slap him. Hard. "Go. Away. Jace." Clary muttered though clenched teeth.

"I'd prefer not to." Obviously this was going to be one of his, 'I secretly like you (maybe) but I'm going to act like nothing is ever wrong and I'm still be a pretentious ass,' kind of moods. I hated that his hand was still on my back making my heart jump, making me excited when I wanted to be mad.

"Jace." Clary said warningly. "Clary." He returned the tone. "Ugh! You're so difficult!" She screeched, burying her face deeper into a pillow. Jace chuckled. "That's a first." He said sarcastically. Clary bolted up, getting the satisfaction of making him jump a bit.

"You drive me crazy." She said, narrowing his eyes. He grinned cockily. "Oh I know." He said with a wink, leaning forward towards her she could feel his soft, even breath. "Just know you return the favor." He said, pressing his lips against hers briefly before he was gone out of the room.

Clary let her heart go back down before muttering something about him being a conceited tease and she began sketching wings to her most recent picture. She may be going crazy…but she kind of liked it.

And now she knew she made him crazy too.

_A/N: I know, I know. They're so short lately!! But they are just drabbles…I'll try to make my next one longer…and I realized I haven't given Simon any love yet so hopefully my iPod while spread its crazy love towards our favorite vampire gamer ___


	8. So Close

_**A/N: This is…well…somewhere before COG. Let's just say Clary had homecoming (I need dancing! Hehe) and Jace shows up. Mwahaha bare with me. It'll be good. I promise. OH! And if any of you are fabulously talented on youtube…. you should make me a video. **__****__** J/C with the song. Pwease? **_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own MI or So Close by Jon McLaughlin**_

_**JPOV**_

"Jace! Jace!" Isabelle ran down the hall. I looked back, slowing my pace down. Isabelle brushed back her hair and thrust her phone in my hands. I glanced at her before I looked at the phone. Big capital letters were written across the screen, a picture attached to the bottom.

Isabelle! It's homecoming! Does this look ok?

My eyes widening as I scrolled down to the picture. Clary was standing in front of a mirror, her hair gently curled and hanging down around her shoulders. She had on a green dress, the color of emeralds. She looked beautiful.

I choked down the lump in my throat and handed Isabelle back the phone. "Was that it? The picture? What is homecoming anyways? Who came home?" I said, playing it easy. Isabelle frowned.

"I don't know what homecoming is. Apparently some form of ball though. The dress obviously is too nice for Clary to wear anywhere else. ANYWAYS! You need to go get in some nice clothes. Because you're going to this homecoming thing." Isabelle smiled.

"I am, now am I?" I raised my eyebrow. She nodded her head. I sighed. "I'm busy." I said. "Really? Isabelle said, her voice void of emotion. "No." I smiled. She groaned. "Go get in a damn suit!" She pushed me towards my door.

I turned back to glare heavily. "I'll owe you." She grinned. Oh, you owe more than one.

*~*~*~*~*

"QUIT MESSING WITH THE TIE!" Isabelle smacked my hand away from my neck. I glared and Alec snickered. He had some how been dragged into this also. "You'll look fine!" Isabelle said confidently.

I snorted. "I do not look fine. I look fabulous thank you very much." Isabelle glared. I had dug up a tux from Roberts closet along with a green tie. Isabelle insisted I wore a green tie.

"Three tickets please." Isabelle smiled at the boy at the door. The poor mundane's eyes glazed over and handed over the tickets, not even bothering to ask for money. I shoved my hands in my pockets and headed towards the door, snatching my ticket from Isabelle.

Loud music thrummed in the gym of what must Clary's school, bright flashing lights temporally blinding me. Beside me Isabelle grinned wickedly. "It's like a club! But smellier!"

I rolled my eyes, watching Isabelle be immediately asked to dance. She giggled and winked at us. Alec groaned. "I'm going to find a drink. Something strong hopefully." He muttered, walking away.

I grinned and kicked back against the wall. Letting my eyes scan the crowd, I nonchalantly looked. Oh who was I kidding? I was looking for a Shorty with red hair.

"Haven't seen you around." A girl said her brown hair piled high. I flashed her a grin. She wasn't all that pretty but very arrogant. Like me, but less attractive. "My…friend is here." I said, mentally cursing myself. Sister, fool, she's your sister.

"Oh. Do I know him?" The girl batted her eyelashes. I sighed. "Her. My…friend is a girl. Clarissa Mor—Fray." I stopped myself. The girl frowned. "You mean Clary Fray?"

I nodded. She scowled. "She's a freak." My jaw snapped. "Jace!" Suddenly the voice I would walk through fire for called. I turned around with a smile. "There she is." I said.

"What are you doing here?" Clary asked quietly, her eyes avoiding mine. I grinned, taking her in. She was like a fiery drink of water. It burned to sip but oh did you just want more.

"Isabelle." I said. She sighed in understanding. "Figures." She muttered. "Well, I'll just…be...going..." The girl said. I glanced behind me with an uncomfortable smile. "Bye now."

She huffed and walked away. I chuckled. "You look beautiful." I told Clary. She blushed furiously, suddenly conscious of her hair. "I…it's nothing." She said. I took sick satisfaction out of her embarrassment and the look of joy.

"Care to dance?" I asked. She blushed again but took my out stretched hand. I happily lead her to the dance floor and welcomed her into my arms. Suddenly the world melted away, so close to her. The music played for only two.

I knew this was wrong but I didn't care. My heart can break later.

If only, if only I had known I could have had her so much earlier. That I was so close to having her, just for myself, yet I was still so far.

And now all I want is to hold her and never let go. The electricity flowing through us, our hearts pounding against each other's as we slowly sway across the dance floor is almost surreal.

Yes, heartbreak shall be mine later tonight.

So close to reaching that famous happy ending, almost believing this isn't pretend. Now she's beside me and I can see how far we've come. I'm so far yet we're so close. It's just not far.

"Jace?" She whispered. "Yes?" I whispered back. "Am I dreaming?" She asked. I chuckled. "No, Clary." I gently brushed back a strand of her hair. I was being so risky. Her breath caught and she sighed softly.

"I don't want to wake up." She mumbled. She really thought she was dreaming. She really dreams about me. Oh heart be still.

"Clary, this is real." I said. "No, don't say that. Just don't say it. Because if its real, its wrong and it must stop. And I don't want it to stop." She barely said the last part and it was my turn to loose my breath.

She pulled herself closer to me, as if I was going to magically disappear. "This one can't be pretend." She mumbled to herself. "But I must be dreaming." I twirled her around, watching her hair spin and my heart stop.

Clary would never be mine. But I will never be anyone else's but hers.

So close…

So close…

Yet still so far…

_**A/N: That made me sad to write…I actually used a lot of the song for this. I love this one! hehe**_


	9. Weathered

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Simon or Weathered by Creed. Though the both equally rock! Hehe**_

_**SPOV(FINALLY!!!)**_

I sighed heavily, my throat burning just a bit. I was still thirsty despite the two bottles of…blood… I had. I couldn't just accept the vampire factor of my life yet. It was so strange, so wrong.

But the fact that I could see so impeccably good in my room even with my lights off, three blankets over the windows blocking all city lights, was an obvious statement of my vampireness.

I wished life could back to normal. The normal where I would be hanging out with Clary at her apartment while she laughed at something stupid I said instead of pretending I sick.

I wish I never said yes to go to Pandemonium that night. I should have put my foot down, suggested a movie or something else. Anything else. I would be human, able to stand in the sunshine instead of dream of it and dream of Clary being mine rightfully.

There would be no Jace either. No blonde headed prince darkling to woo her away from me. She never showed romantically interest in me but at least she didn't show any to anyone else.

Then he came along, the snake with golden eyes and a charming voice. All big, bad and buff, he marched in and stole my damsel in distress. I wished he would just disappear already.

Isabelle and Alec would be happy, not fretting about Jace and his twisted love with Clary. I wouldn't be worrying about their twisted love for…I couldn't even think the word. Ha! For DOG's sake. Yeah, that's better. Tricking the system.

I wouldn't be feeling so alone right now if I had just said no.

I'm falling apart here. I'm getting stabbed over and over again, the sunlight burning me. Mentally of course. I'm just not healing.

I could smell the sun rising. I wanted so bad to look but I can't. I'll be dust and ash, making my floor covered in soot. Mom would be pissed.

Mom…Clary…maybe Raphael was right. Maybe I'm clinging too much to humanity. I'm a monster now; I might as well accept it, shouldn't I? Maybe I should leave New York…go live in…Japan or something. Something far away where I could stop clinging to life so tight.

Oh you coward! You're just going to run away? From all that keeps you sane? Ha. Yeah, right. I'd like to see you try.

I couldn't leave Clary, it just wouldn't work. I'll just stand here and let the wind weather me down like the cliffs on the oceans. Yeah, that's what I'll do. If I leave, Jace will win. In some way, shape or form, the bastard will win. And I can't have that.

_**A/N: Oh, I had some fun writing as Simon for the first time! This was just basically random thoughts of his…and mine just twisted into Simon form :D**_


	10. Something to Die For

_A/N: Set in my favorite chapter of City of Glass __ You know, when Jace gets all adorable and confesses everything? Yep, yep. Right around there! And then towards the end, it's going to skip to the Lake Lyn part, after the angel spears Valentine. (I'm actually going to put the lyrics in this one.)_

_Something to Die For-Carolina Liar_

_JPOV_

This was a night I dreamt about but believed would actually happen. Clary was lying beside me, her tiny hand sculpted around mine like she'd never touch me again. Which truly, she might not be far off.

_Peel me off the hook that's something to die for_

_Heal me help me see what the hell did I lie for?_

_I'm fighting private wars again just second thoughts of where and when_

_So peel me off the hook that's something to die for_

Soon, I'd have to leave. Valentine could only get further out. She'd forgive me for leaving, possibly, and she'd forgive me doing this. Possibly. I was doing this for her, so I hope she actually does.

_Won't you see it in your heart? You should_

_Know you always played your part real good oh yeah_

_That's something to die for that's something to die for_

I replayed our conversation, wondering it clicked in her head what I said. I told her I loved her, that I always would. Would she know that that is why I am doing this? Because she gave me something to die for?

Clary sighed then as if she could hear my private thoughts. She pulled my hand closer to her chest and scooted closer, the sheets shuffling against her bare thighs. Her other arm flopped over my waist, her knee pressing between my legs. Every part of me froze.

Her head nestled in on my chest, her hair sitting just below my chin. I could smell her curls, they smelled like lemons, mixed with her usual scent of strawberries. This scent was like my personal cocaine, I constantly needed it in my nose. I inhaled deeper, filling my nose with a sweet scent that I most likely wouldn't smell after tonight.

_Well you know me I never learn I'm holding onto sacred words_

_So peel me off the hook that's something to die for_

I could feel her lips move through the fabric of my shirt. She was whispering something beneath her breath. I leaned further down, attempting to hear her.

"What'd you say Clary?" I breathed in her ear, begging I wouldn't wake her. Her lips stopped moving for a second before she spoke louder.

"Jace. Jace." She said over and over again. A smile played at my lips. She was dreaming of me. That was my name she was whispering.

_Won't you see it in your heart? You should_

_Know you always played your part real good_

After Clary examined every inch of me to make absolute sure I wasn't actually hurt, she stood to watch for the other who had to have been coming soon. I stood up, minding to not look towards my father's body, and stared as the waves washed pulled back the sand.

_If it hurts I'll be there we'll be standing by the shore_

_You'll see how the waves wash away all the dirt_

_That's something to die for that's something to die for_

Clary's face was dark, her thoughts muddled. I don't believe she knew she was actually muttering these thoughts under her breath just loud enough for me to hear.

She knew I died saving her and then she killed our—her, father and then she brought me back to life. Didn't she understand that this was good?

_Won't you see it in your heart?_

_Don't you know you played your part real good?_

_So won't you see it in your heart? You should_

_Should know you always played your part real good_

I wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her to my side. The waves had almost washed away all the blood near the shore and most of the runes in the dirt. 

_In the end I'll be there I'll be standing by your side_

_We will see how the tide hides away all the dirt_

I couldn't wrap the idea around my head yet that she wasn't my sister. That I could have her, if she wanted me.

_That's something to die for that's something to die for_


	11. Outside

She shouldn't have been able to do this to him. He was strong, he was cold, he was indifferent to everything and everyone around him. He was a shadowhunter. But Angel, she made him everything he wasn't. She made him tremble, made him warm, made him care about something for once.

_And you...Could bring me to my knees...Again. _

He wanted her more than he ever wanted anything. More than the knives for his birthday, more than the hot fairy across the bar that had too much to drink, more than the biggest kill of the week. She made him want to beg for mercy, to beg for her to stay for just a moment longer, even if it was all in vain.

_All the times... When I could beg you please...In vain. _

Her actions made him hesitate. Him, who never once hesitated to do anything, stumbled in his actions. She made the man whose ego was the size of Texas feel insecure. Should he pull her into his arms? Could he brush back her hair? Just once?

_All the times... When I felt insecure...For you _

He knew she could feel the baggage he carried like a lead brick. He saw how it made her uneasy. But he could let it go, drop his worries if only she asked.

_And I leave... My burdens at the door... _

But she wouldn't let him. She shunned him away, kept him outside the door. But he could see straight through her façade. She wanted this just as bad as he did. He could see her, the real her, and she knew it damn well.

_But I'm on the outside, I'm looking in. _

_I can see through you, see your true colors. _

_Cause inside your ugly, your ugly like me. _

_I can see through you, see to the real you. _

God, he could feel the pain tearing through his heart all time now. It would never end and it was because of her. All because of her.

If he concentrated, he could still taste the sweet green apple of her lips. He could taste what would never be his to have again.

Everything he did, he did so with a sense of confidence. But she was shattering that quickly and he even felt the urge to shed a tear once or twice. Not like he'd admit that to anyone. He was prideful and he preferred everyone to see him as an asshat as she had put it.

_All the times...That I felt like this won't end...It's for you. _

_And I taste...What I could never have...It was from you. _

_All the times...That I've cried...My intentions...Were full of pride. _

And now he was wasting more time by wallowing in his misery. Was there a record for most wasted time on a love you'd never have?

_But I waste...More time than anyone... _

This was it. He would shove down the pathetic tears and shove down the pain like he always did. He would stop trying to mend, stop being a lazy ass and do something. He'd make tomorrow better.

_All the times...That I've cried... _

_All this wasted...It's all inside... _

_And I feel...All this pain... _

_Stuffed it down...It's back again... _

_And I lie...Here in bed... _

_All alone...I can't mend...But I feel...Tomorrow will be ok. _

Jace would make Clary see that he could see she wanted this too.

_I'm on the outside and I'm looking in. _

_I can see through you, see your true colors. _

_Cause inside your ugly, your ugly like me. _

_I can see through you, see to the real you. _

_A/n: Do I get love for making this longer than most? :D please? I even showed Jace's sensitive side! Brownie points anyone? Oh. And I hope I made it clear that this was Jace and he was talking about Clary…I avoided their names for some inane reason til the end. Hope you enjoyed. _


	12. Breathe Me

_A/N: WOO! It's the FINALE! I'm actually sad to see this end! I decided I wanted to try and involve as many characters as I could in this so bare with me if it gets just a tad confusing…_

_Oh! And before I forget again. I do not own Breathe Me by Sia or the Mortal Instruments. I just torture her characters for pleasure. _

Jace's world crumbled beneath him with one sentence, just three words as they escaped her lips.

"_I hate you!" _ Clary screamed, her back against the wall, as if she was frightened of Jace. God, how could he have been so stupid? How could he have let it gotten to this point?

Their words had become nothing to him, a jumbled mush of pure rage. She was sick with grief and heartache and was being irrational. He heard words slip from his mouth he wouldn't even dare to think about and saw her face grow gray with sorrow and anger. He was killing her and he couldn't stop his ridiculous mouth from spewing these unnecessary things.

Clary bolted from the room, screaming profanities that didn't escape Jace's numb ears. He had done it again, hurt the one he loved most. It wasn't something he was unfamiliar with, no. But it hurt worse than Greater Demon poisoning and he could blame no one but himself for this slow suicide.

_Help, I have done it again _

_I have been here many times before _

_Hurt myself again today_

_And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame _

Across the street, Clary curled into a ball against the wall of the abandoned building for she could go no further. Tears streaking down her face and sobs clogging her throat. She gasped for air, wiping furiously at the offending tears. She wanted Jace, oh god, did she want Jace right now. But he was the one who tore her heart to shreds and threw them in the incinerator. She had even said she hated him yet she wanted him so badly, she felt sick.

"Clary?" Someone called, a tall silhouette in the Institute door way. Her heart clenched in pitiful hope but it wasn't who she wanted. Isabelle scurried across the street, yanking her hood over her mess of black hair and pulled her friend into her arms. Clary clutched to Isabelle's velvet coat, staining it with saline. Isabelle's hands curled protectively around the small girl's frame in poor attempts to warm her from the bitter rain coming down above them.

_Be my friend _

_Hold me, wrap me up _

_Unfold me _

_I am small _

_I'm needy _

_Warm me up _

_And breathe me _

Alec winced every time Jace's words were cut off by a sob trying to force its way into the emotionless boy's throat. Unwanted feelings of his own bubbling beneath the surface and he felt lost. Hadn't he decided that he didn't love Jace, but Magnus? But as Jace ranted and raved about what a moron he was and how stupid Clary was but how spectacular she could be, Alec felt himself slipping into a deep hole, a plunging abyss that one was to never escape called love. The blackness closed around him as he watched Jace throw himself onto the bed, his breath ragged and he felt the urge to comfort his brother. He felt unsafe as always in the territory and he wanted out before he could shatter.

_Ouch I have lost myself again _

_Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found, _

_Yeah I think that I might break _

_I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe_

Isabelle watched as her brother paced across the room, his face uncertain and twisted with unbearable pain. Guilt racked her body and somewhere inside she knew her loyalty should have lied with Jace and her brother. But something about Clary drew her out here. She didn't even know what was wrong with her.

"Clary, honey, what happened?" Isabelle murmured. Clary's body stiffened and she glanced up at Isabelle with fear in her eyes. Isabelle's heart stuttered just at the look.

"You didn't know? Oh god, Izzy, I'm so sorry." Clary whispered, their roles now reversed. Clary was trying to comfort Isabelle from something she didn't know.

"Wh—what happened Clary?" Isabelle's voice cracked and lightning lit up the New York skyline.

"He's dead, Isabelle." Clary's voice was hardly there, engulfed already by another wave of tears. But Isabelle heard her and her heart crumpled into icy pieces. She didn't need a name, her heart knew exactly who she meant. Only Clary would so for him and be fearful of Isabelle's reaction. Tears slid from her eyes and she hugged Clary once again, looking for comfort this time for herself. Isabelle's stomach made it difficult for them to salvage the warmth and comfort they both needed from the hug but they made due.

_Be my friend _

_Hold me, wrap me up _

_Unfold me _

_I am small _

_I'm needy _

_Warm me up _

_And breathe me _

Jace stood to look out the window only to see his sister and Clary twisted together in a sobbing pile of cloth. His heart clenched so tightly, he was sure it had stopped for a brief second in time, but he knew he could not comfort either of them. Clary hated him already and Isabelle would be sure to kill him had he taken a step near her in this state.

"Jace, it wasn't your fault." Alec was quiet, nervous, as he placed a gentle hand on Jace's shoulder. Jace didn't move to the touch but let out a crackling sigh.

"Alec, you were there. You saw. Simon is gone because of me. I might as well have killed him. I let him go with us to a mission I knew was dangerous for him. I knew this pack of vampires wanted the daylighter dead. And I let him come."

Alec had nothing to say, even if he knew that it wasn't entirely Jace's fault. He _had_ been there and he had seen Simon run off after one of the vampires trying to escape. Jace was preoccupied with not letting Clary get much action, Alec could not run fast enough to save Simon before the runaway turned and staked him where he stood.

Clary would believe it was Jace's fault though because he let him come to the mission. Because he didn't run to save him but instead gave her the unnecessary help. Because Jace did nothing to save Simon once he lay staked because he could do nothing. But Clary was shaking with grief and reason would not pass her ears.

And so he did the only thing he could with someone like Jace. He squeezed his shoulder, placed his sparring blade in his hand, and told him that they would go work off his angst. Because he was his friend and he couldn't hold Jace like Isabelle did Clary. But he could let him kick his ass.

_Be my friend _

_Hold me, wrap me up _

_Unfold me _

_I am small _

_I'm needy _

_Warm me up _

_And breathe me_

_A/N: Don't kill me!_


End file.
